Dorm Room Dilemma: The Garden
No matter how many colleges we visit, or dorm rooms we end up in after long nights of drinking (er, I mean, dorm rooms we see), the staff of CO-ED has noticed a general theme in dorm room decoration, whether we’re at a big or small school: the décor always falls into one of eight categories (four each, for guys and girls). Yes, Jake, you may think that the combination of a hookah and a wall tapestry makes you look unique, but it doesn’t; some other hash-loving hippie in Idaho is smoking in the very same atmosphere. Here at coedmagazine.com, over the next few days, our staff of editors will utilize our years of research and knowledge on dorm room décor and enlighten you about the college dorm room.
Girl’s Room #2: The Garden
Often obsessed with floral arrangements, these lovely ladies arrive on campus with potted plants in hand. It’s absolutely vital that they claim a clear spot on the window sill for their fine petal-ed friends. Once they’ve placed their pots in the sun, their preppy parents arrive with armfuls of flowered bedspreads, pastel curtains and poofy pillows. And it doesn’t stop there. The dads might tack up some temporary daisy wallpaper, and the moms will probably spread a few flower-shaped rugs on the floor.
You’d think such “tasteful” decorators would keep things color-coordinated. No, there’s no matching involved. Because Sally loves lilacs and daffodils. Put it all together and you’ve got a mess of patterns that completely terrify the unsuspecting, and late-arriving, roommate. (It’s rare that two “garden girls” are placed together upon their first semester).
Once this poor soul enters the “floral forest,” she looks at the number on the door again, hoping that this is the wrong room. Sure enough, this is it. Oh, and hear comes her overly enthusiastic roommate. “Hi! I’m Sally. I hope you don’t mind the flowers. It’s kind of my thing.”
“It’s okay. The room looks … nice.” She feels like vomiting when she sees some of the rose petals sprinkled on her side of the room. Where is her bed? Buried under flowery stuff, of course. As she walks to place down her first box of belongs she sighs and thinks, so, this is college.
People down the hall gather at their door, some in awe, some in shock and some in pity. This is definitely not the “fun party room.” This is the “I’m never going to set foot in there” room.
